Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Is YOUR Neighbour A Dalek?

Ten Questions That Cut To The Chase1. Some leaves have fallen into your garden from your neighbours tree. You go round to complain. What do they do?
a) apologise and offer to sweep the leaves up.
b) slam the door in your face.
c) try and turn you into a Roboman.

2. The sewer in your street is blocked. When the council come round to investigate what do they find it is full of?
a) incorrectly disposed of foodstuff; rice, fat and tea leaves.
b) tree roots.
c) hideous mutant embryos, flushed into the sewers for not conforming to strict purity standards.

3. What do your neighbours listen to on the radio?
a) Radio One.
b) The Archers.
c) Dalek propaganda.

4. Your neighbour's cat has gone missing, how do they react?
a) put up posters.
b) get a new cat
c) trundle around the garden shrieking,”prisoner has escaped! I have failed! I have failed! Self destruct! I have failed - destruct! I have failed - destruct! Failed! Failed! Failed!” and then exploding.

5.What shape is your neighbour's body?
6. Your neighbour says they are going out to get a funky new look, do they come back with
a) a trendy perm like Paul Michael Glaser.
b) something from Marks and Spencer.
c) a brightly coloured, glossy paint job and a bigger, bulkier frame.

7. What does your neighbour drive?
a) a Ford Fiesta.
b) they don't have a car.
c) a giant flying saucer

8. What is your neighbour's idea of a good night out?
a) go down the pub
b) a trip to the cinema, and then out for a meal.
c) hanging around Canary Wharf fighting with Cybermen.

9.You are dancing with your neighbour at a party when your cardigan becomes wrapped around their head. How does your neighbour react, do they?
a) laugh it off and say accidents will happen.
b) ask you to be more careful.
c) start shrieking “my vision is impaired, I cannot see!” and blunder around crashing into the furniture before finally falling out of the window and exploding again.

10. What are your neighbour's etheric beam locators like?
a) unremarkable.
b) medium.
c) round, firm, and able to locate etheric beam emissions at a distance of up to 20,000 light years.

A=1, B=2, C=3, D=You must have been filling in another quiz

Less than 10: Nothing to worry about here. Your neighbour is definitely not a Dalek.
10-20: Your neighbour is probably okay. You can sleep safe in your bed without worrying about being exterminated, or turned into a pig slave.
20-30: There is something fishy about your neighbour. He may not be a Dalek but for safety you may want to try completing another of our other quizes: Is Your Neighbour A Silurian, Is Your Neighbour Kroll, or Is Your Neighbour a Vashta Nerada.
30: Panic! Your neighbour is a Dalek. Evacuate the area immediately and notify the local anti-Dalek Force.
TOMORROW: Is Your Lodger A Time Lord?