So What Were The Judoon Doing As Part Of The Monsters Alliance?

Really Should Have Done This While The World Cup Was On

One of the promotional images for the Doctor Who Live tour is of a Monsters First XI (that's 'XI' Doctor Who Live, not '11'; didn't you even study Roman numerals at school? -CLASSICAL ED.). However, a football team composed of Doctor Who monsters raises many questions.

No substitutes are present in the team photo. There is nothing wrong with this, although it seems unfair not to include them in the picture, but the names of all substitutes must be given to the referee before the match begins. Claiming your substitute is “Vashta Nerada” and then allowing billions of flesh eating bugs to swarm onto the pitch would be cheating; individual Vashta Nerada must be named.

None of the team are wearing the compulsory shin guards. In fact the whole team kit is a bit of a nightmare. Nobody is wearing regulation shorts, jerseys or footwear. The Vampire's diaphanous nightie could tangle round an opposition player causing injury. And where do you find a jersey that fits a Stone Angel?

Law 4: The players equipment. “The basic compulsory equipment must not have any political, religious or personal statements. A player removing his jersey or shirt to reveal slogans or advertising will be sanctioned by the competition organiser.” Unless the Monster's First XI is sponsored by Cybus industries the Cyberman will need to cover up the Cybus logo to avoid being in breach of Law Four.

“A player must not use equipment or wear anything that is dangerous to himself or another player (including any kind of jewellery).” Several of the team are brandishing weapons. They will have to leave them by the side of the pitch.

Likewise the Ood cannot bring his translation sphere onto the pitch in case it gets damaged but this will make it difficult for him to shout instructions to other players.

This also applies to the Juddon. Without his translator, he's going to be no help. By the time he's shouted “look out Silurian, on your left, Give him a target on the flank “ (“No! Kro! Blo! Ko! Sho! Wo Flo Ho! Ro Go! Co Vo Blo So! Kro! Blo! Flo Ho! Ro Go! Co Vo! Ko!” ) The other team will be halfway down the pitch with the ball.

Where does the Stone Angel play? It can only move when no one is looking at it. Goal is out because being frozen in one spot would make it useless during penalty shoot outs; likewise attacking is impossible because the opposition keeper only has to stare at the Angel. The best position is probably midfield, where there's at least a chance for the ball to bounce off it, or for an opposition player to run into it and injure themselves.

At least three of the players cannot head the ball. The Clockwork Droid would jar its delicate internal mechanism, the Scarecrow's head is full of straw and the Judoon cannot head the ball without puncturing it.

Daleks cannot take throw-ins, or kick the ball, and attempting to use the plunger during play would be classed as handball. The Skaro mutant could compensate for this by melding with an opposition player Dalek Sec style but this would probably be classed as unsporting behaviour and result in a yellow card or free kick to the other team.

Altogether the Monsters First XI seems unlikely to make a successful team relegation to a lower league must inevitably follow.

Musinewsy

Two new CDs released this month.

Melanie Bush States The Obvious

Available now for the first time on CD. All your favourite moments from Doctor Who when companion Melanie Bush explains things which are already clearly visible on screen to even the most inattentive viewer.

This CD contains some material previous released on the albums The Division Mel and Screams In The Key Of Life.

Track Listing:
1. A Mayday Call, We Have To Respond!
2. No One Sends A Mayday Call Unless It's A Matter Of Life And Death!
3. The Quickest Way Out Of This Is To Solve The Mystery!
4. Looks Like Someone's Been In A Fight For Their Life!
5. Never Mind The Just-So Stories. That Guard Looks Trigger Happy To Me!
6. I'm As Truthful, Honest, And About As Boring As They Come!
7. How Utterly Evil!
8. Something's Going Wrong! I Can Sense It!
9. Destroy Us And You Destroy Yourself!
10. I've Had Enough Of This Drivel!

Also included as bonus tracks, the duet with Commodore Travers

Since You've Put In Appearance, First A Passenger, Now My Communications Officer, And A Guard Have All Gone Missing. Two If Not All Three Murdered But... You Can't Tell Me What's Happening Can You? (I Can. You've Got A Killer On Board!)

Plus, Commodore Travers' solo single

Whoever's Been Dumped In There Has Been Pulverised Into Fragments And Sent Floating Into Space. And In My Book That's Murder!

Re-released This Month

The Dominators Help
Studio album by The Dominators
Released 6 August 1965
Genre Pop Rock
Label Maagaphone
Producer George Martian

Still Angry After All These Years

Long term, the worst thing about the new Star Wars trilogy is the damage it inflicts on the character of Darth Vader. Now when watching the three older films it is impossible to forget about Anakin Skywalker so where there was once a mysterious iconic evil villain, the audience now sees beyond the black suit to the inner whiny teenager mooning over his lost love.

Like this:

It's Fanzine Focus Friday! Part 2

A very delayed plug for a new fanzine Blue Box, edited by Grant Bull. This should have been posted ages ago but wasn't. The minions responsible are now suspended from the Balham Gibbit.

"I am very pleased to announce that the very first issue of Blue Box – A Doctor Who Fanzine is available to purchase…

Issue 1 includes some wonderful articles from a very talented and knowledgeable bunch with such gems as:

Towering Ambitions by Jez Strickley
Writing to the Doctor by Ian Wheeler
Playing 'Games' by David MacGowan
Finding Light in the Dark Dimension by Bob Furnell
Doctor Who – A Loving Obsession by Grant Bull
Looking Back: Death to the Daleks by Richard Farrell

Add to that wonderful mix of original and interesting articles an interview with David J Howe conducted by Grant Bull and an in-depth interview with Paul Cornell conducted by Gareth Kavanagh. Then top it all off art throughout and the beginnings of a comic strip by Ellis Hampton and Erin. All wrapped in a stunning cover by Draculasaurus.

Oh… and there’s more but I don’t want to give it all away pick up your copy and see for yourself!

Paypal orders to dalek82@hotmail.co.uk or email for more details on the same address.

UK - £1.50
Rest of the World - £2.50"

http://www.blueboxfanzine.blogspot.com/

Issue 1 of Blue Box is a great start for a new fanzine. It's been out since June though so if you are planning to order a copy it's probably worth sending an email first in case it has sold out; if it has then issue 2 should be along soon. For your £1.50 you get a lot of content, a good eclectic mix of articles and interviews. The design is great with some lovely artwork but it is a shame that the reproduction left some of the comic strips so dark; hopefully this should be something easy to fix in future issues.

Doctor Who News, News!

Split Season For 2011 Doctor Who

New Doctor Who producer Steven Moffat has announced that the 2011 series of Doctor Who will be split between the spring and autumn.

Fan speculation has concentrated on how the split will work. For example could the stories be divided into a block of seven episodes in the spring followed by six in the autumn? In fact, as Shouting Into A Well can exclusively reveal, the split is a literal one. There will be a standard 13 episode run in spring with the right side of the screen-blanked out -along with the audio for all events which happen there-, followed in autumn by a second block of 13 episodes which shows the opposite. The complete episodes will then be available to purchase on DVD.

How The Split Would Have Worked On Series 5

Rory and Amy gasp in surprise at something. What is it? You'll have to wait until autumn to find out.

It's the Doctor, confronted by himself from the future!

And how the scene will look recombined on DVD.

Moffat Promises “Gamechanging Cliffhanger”

New Producer Steven Moffat has also announced that next years' mid-series cliffhanger will be “gamechanging”.

As yet Shouting Into A Well has no information about the nature of this cliffhanger but here are ten possibilities.

1. River Song shoots the Doctor.
2. The Doctor shoots River Song.
3. Amy Pond shoots River Song and the Doctor with a single bullet
4. The Daleks shoot J.R.
5. River Song is the Rani
6. Amy Pond is the Rani
7. Amy Pond is River Song
8. Amy Pond is the Rani disguised as River Song
9. The Rani shoots the Doctor.
10. It was all a dream.

GAMECHANGING: An artist's impression of the 2011 mid-series cliffhanger. The Rani looks on with a sneer as Amy Pond and the Doctor hold each other at gunpoint.

Shouting Into A Well To Seek New Photoshop Artist

In unrelated news Shouting Into A Well is to search for a new Photoshop artist. No details have been announced of the events which led to the firing of the previous artist.

General Sontar's Puzzle Corner

Ten-hut Troopers! General Sontar here to remind you that it's just as important to work on your wits as it is to practice obeying the orders of a superior officer without question, shielding your Probic vent from the enemy, and putting a charged quantum shot through the cyanotic node of a Rutan at 600 Sontaran paces! With that in mind our top strategy boffins have put together this test. It's more challenging than a twenty-seven day forced route march through the gas swamps of Hypoxia VI!

Question 1: Join the dots

(answer to last week's Join the dots puzzle. Unfortunately last week's dots formed a circle, if you are still attempting this puzzle then stop now)

Question 2: Word Jumlbe (set by Clive Doig)

(clue, you shoot them with the front of your gun)

Question 3: Spot The Difference

Oh No! In preparing an image for publication in the glorious Sontaran Standard newspaper the picture editor has accidentally made ten changes. Can you spot the difference?

(Answer: The difference is between a Sontaran who can do his job properly and one who makes incompetent mistakes! The picture editor's entire squad was reduced to genetic material as punishment. REMEMBER: SLOPPY ERRORS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!)

Question 4: A-mazing Maze

Travel through the maze to find out what the lovely kitten wants to wear.
(Answer to last week's A-mazing Maze. The naughty puppy had chewed the slippers)

HOW DID YOU DO?
Completion time
Five hours plus: more work needed Trooper
Three to five hours: average
Two to three hours: keep up the good effort Soldier
Two hours or less: report to the Promotion Sphere for Officer Upgrade and Naming Ceremony.

It's Probably A Metaphor

So It's Come To This: Actual Lavatory Humour

People From Doctor Who On The Toilet*

Tobias Vaughn


The Tenth Doctor




*with apologies to Ted Bovis.

Newszzzzz

Eccleston's Bizarre Plot: More Details Revealed!

Today Shouting Into A Well reporters can expose more details of Christopher Eccleston's plot to regain the role of Doctor Who.

Yesterday we told you how Eccleston, in an attempt to return to the role he left in 2005, tried to convince the BBC that the year was 2006 and that he remained the actor playing the Doctor. The details of this plan involved:

- making new Doctor Who producer Steven Moffat believe he was Russell T. Davis by giving him a map of Britain on which Wales and Scotland had been swapped round.
- breaking into Upper Boat studios and replacing all the year planners, diaries and calendars with 2006 editions.
- secretly dying Karen Gillan's hair blonde to make her look like Billie Piper.
-crossing Matt Smith's telephone number out of the internal directory and writing his in its place.

It appears that this plan was at least partially successful, presumably contributing to new Doctor Who producer Steven Moffat's confusion over whether the 2010 series of Doctor Who was series one, five or thirty one.

At the time of publishing it remained unclear where new Doctor Who actor Matt Smith fitted into Eccleston's plans; that question has now been answered in a most grisly fashion. Our source, who wishes to remain anonymous, has provided us with a picture almost certainly drawn by Eccleston himself clearly showing the Boon and Casualty actor gloating above a pit containing a figure recognisable as Smith. We must warn our readers that this picture may not be suitable for those of a nervous disposition.

SHOCKING: Could Eccleston have been planning to eat Matt Smith?

TOMORROW: our source has promised us more remarkable revelations about Eccleston's plan, including revealing how the actor used techniques he learned while playing the role of invisible agent Claude in Heroes to move undetected around the Doctor Who set.

Freema Agyeman.
Owing to an unfortunate printing error last week's story "Freema's Shocking Spider Secret!" accidentally gave the impression that Freema Agyman was a giant woman-spider hybrid who lured young men back to her web and wrapped them in silk before gruesomely feasting on their innards. In addition a breakdown of communications between the Art and Editorial departments then led to the article being illustrated with a photo showing Freema's head pasted onto the body of the Empress Of Racnoss with the caption,"HORRIFIC: According to our source this image of Spider Freema may be the last thing that countless young men have seen."

Having received representation from Freema's Management and Legal teams Shouting Into A Well is happy to assure our readers that this is not the case and we are pleased to apologise for any confusion this unfortunate and unavoidable error may have caused.

In Other News

New Captain Kirk Sexual Harassment Case Rocks Starfleet.
Starfleet today was attempted to deal with the fallout from yet another sexual harassment case involving Captain James Kirk of the USS Enterprise.

Read more

Liz 10 to Charles "I don't care if you've been waiting 300 years. I'm the bloody Queen and you'll get the job when it's your turn." Read more




Exclusive! Karen Gillan Walks Down The Street On Her Legs And Wears Clothes! Read more

Monster Mash

You are in
Monsters>Planetary Invasions>User Reviews>

Daleks>
By Roboman2051
The original and best...
Absolutely brilliant! You can see why they are still the leaders of the planet invading game. Mass exterminations followed by total suppression of the population. We knew this was going to be good when the invasion started with an orbital bombardment by germ infected meteorites. We were helpless! Highly recommended. 100%, would definitely be invaded by them again.

Cybermen>
By Lumicfan
You never know what you're going to get
We've been invaded by the Cybermen numerous times and they always manage to surprise us. Which will it be? Hypnotic signals followed by a cyber-army bursting out of the sewer? Crashing an anti-matter filled spaceship into the planet? Bursting in through a breach in the universe? If you are planning on having your planet invaded more than once then try these guys. It will never get boring. Plus the survivors get a free upgrade!

Dominators>
By DominatorRagu(it brings out the Italian in you!)
Planetary invasion for the budget conscious.
Cheap but very effective. The Dominators do a great deal of stamping around and shouting at people along with a few nice explosions. They come with these little robots called Quarks which blow up nicely when the resistance attacks them. At the end their exploding doomsday device made a little volcano which was super.

Haemovores>
By DraculaAD1972
Too much jaw-jaw, not enough war-war
They came out of the sea in a black fog. Very atmospheric. But then the leader went into this “my world is dying speech” and kept going on about pollution. Like being invaded by Bono and Sting.

Ood>
By JohnZoidberg
Nice but not really what we were expecting.
The Ood first contacted us psychically which is different but then instead of brutally oppressing people they offered to sing us to sleep. I'm not sure they are really cut out for the invading game but they make a great cup of tea.

Moroks>
by AngryCustomer
Terrible!!
Oh dear. They didn't come until two solar cycles after the scheduled invasion date. When they landed the leader tried to pretend that they had come by on time but “everyone had been out” (we weren't, we are a non-space-faring race so we were all at home, in fact we'd cancelled plans to make sure we didn't miss them). Apparently they had “left a card which must have blown away” give it up guys we didn't evolve yesterday. As if that wasn't enough their spaceships sat around doing nothing until our President went and knocked on the door only to be told that they had forgotten their lazer guns! We had to lend them some of ours before the invasion could even begin! Dreadful service. Just avoid.

Summer Filler Week

It's The Debate That Is Dividing The Nation: Team Edward or Team Jacob? We Ask The Doctor Who Stars!
This week: Christopher Eccleston



Next Week: Paul McGann chooses Edward.




It is 41 years and 9 days since Star Trek was first broadcast on BBC1. In honour of this anniversary here are five* bad uses for Star Trek technology.

1. Use the transporter to beam someone into space for three seconds, as a joke.
2. Use a phaser to kill flies.
3. Try ordering "Captain Picard" from a replicator.
4. When a crew member is on a diet secretly transport doughnuts into their stomach.
5. See when happens when you order a replicator from a replicator.

*no one could think of ten.

It's Fanzine Focus Friday!

Just delivered to Shouting Into A Well's stinking editorial garret is the first issue of Panic Moon a new Doctor Who fanzine. Here's more from the editor Oliver Wake.

"I’m delighted to announce that the debut issue of Doctor Who fanzine Panic Moon is available now in good old fashioned paper and ink format. It’s small (A6 format and 28 pages) but perfectly formed. Just right for reading on the bus. Inside you will find:

Reviews of each of the series five stories; explorations of the characters of the eleventh Doctor and Amy; a review of the K9 series; a look at the redesign of the Daleks; a roundup of other recent paper zines in 2010’s fanzine renaissance; a review of Big Finish’s recent output; thoughts on the work of Chris Chibnall, on the use of death in Steven Moffat’s episodes, and on madness, monsters and metaphor in Vincent and the Doctor. Plus some stunning illustrations.

Prices, including P&P:
UK: £1.10
Europe (airmail): £2.00
Elsewhere (airmail): £2.50

Please pay using paypal (www.paypal.co.uk) to panicmoonfanzine@googlemail.com. I’d be terribly grateful if, when making payment, you would use the ‘gift’ rather than ‘goods’ option, as this avoids a fee being taken and therefore helps minimise our losses - this is a non-profit making publication after all. Please add the address for the fanzine to be sent to in the comments section. If you’d prefer to pay by an alternative method, please contact us at the same email address and we’ll sort something out.

Next issue there’ll be a lot more old series stuff, but let’s wait for a few of you to get this issue before we worry about that. We'd also be delighted to receive any comments on the zine at the above email address."

A Shouting Into A Well minion writes: The editor has asked me to say what a great read Panic Moon is, he can't comment directly on the grounds of having two articles in there (obviously those are best). First reaction on seeing the A6 format was surprise at how tiny the pages seemed (A6 paper size is A5 folded in half -TECHNICAL ED) but inside is lots of text and some brilliant illustrations. This issue concentrates on reviewing series five of Doctor Who with relevant articles in between to widen out the scope of the fanzine. Well worth the cover price and very highly recommended.

Fanzine editors: Drop an email to the editorial address on the top-right and Shouting Into A Well will be more than happy to give you a mention.

Holiday Time

The Years Between

Dinosaurs at the North Pole, Polar Bears in Australia, Nile Penguins, Pharaohs in the Himalayas. What else was going on while the Doctor was locked in the Pandorica?

FADE IN MUSIC At the Castle Gate.
CAPTION SLIDE: A blank black picture, FADE TO another blank black picture, FADE TO another blank black picture.
OVERLAY CAPTION: The Sky At Night

CUT TO STUDIO
SIR PATRICK MOORE: Good evening. Welcome to this edition of The Sky At Night. I am joined by the astronomer Heather Couper. Heather, welcome.
HEATHER COUPER: Nice to be here Sir Patrick.
SIR PATRICK MOORE: Heather, what can you tell us about the sky at night?
HEATHER COUPER: Well Patrick, it's black, very, very black. With nothing at all to look at except when the Moon is out.
SIR PATRICK MOORE: Well, that's all there is to say about the Sky At Night this month. Join us for the next edition when we will be probably be talking about the Moon; again.
STUDIO LIGHTS DIM
FADE IN MUSIC At the Castle Gate.
ROLL CLOSING TITLES

CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER: Tomorrow evening at six there is another chance to see an edition of the classic science fiction series Trek. This week Captain Kirk decides to fly the USS Enterprise round the Earth in an anti-clockwise direction while the crew cross their fingers and hope something happens for a change.

A Very Long Story

The Pandorica Seen Through Time

118AD Taken back to Rome under armed guard
420AD Raided by the Franks
1120 Prized possession of the Knights Templar
1231 Donated to the Vatican
1280 Sold by Marco Polo
1281 Taken back by the Vatican after Marco Polo sold it without their permission.
1492 Given to Columbus as a good luck present. Left on the dock at Palos de la Frontera after proving to be too big to fit in the hold of the Santa Maria.
1493 Removed from the dock at Palos de la Frontera for being illegally parked.
1494 Sold at Palos de la Frontera City Auction, bought by Duke of Milan.
1496 Duke of Milan bribes a peasant to to take the Pandorica away and bury it after his wife refuses to have “that horrid thing” in the house.
1812 Dug up by archaeologists. Proclaimed to be part of the Great Pyramid of Milan.
1815 Disappointed and humiliated archaeologists donate the Pandorica to Bavarian Royal Family.
1865 Sentenced to be 'stoned to death' by King Ludwig II of Bavaria (pictured right) for refusing a royal command to open.
1887 Given to Queen Victoria as last minute Golden Jubilee present after all the shops had closed.
1902 Discovered being used as doorstop at Glamis Castle.
1907 Discovered again at Glamis Castle, now being used as occasional table.
1909 Taken for cleaning after Prince of Wales chalks,"George woz ere" on the side.
1912 Examined by Charles Fort who is investigating reports of someone hiding round the back. He walks around the Pandorica but finds nothing except a discarded pilum and caligae prints in the dust.
1913 Charles Fort creeps round the Pandorica the other way. The Roman Centurion standing round the back says he hasn't seen anything odd.
1914 Charles Fort declares the mystery of the Pandorica “unsolvable”.
1952 Left on Royal Train by absent minded maid. Subsequently sold at auction by British Rail Lost Property Department.
1961 Used as concert podium by Gladys Knight and the Pips (pictured right) during UK tour.
1970 Bought by the BBC Props Department. Seen on screen in The Onedin Line, The Tripods, Blankety Blank and Monty Python's How Not To Be Seen sketch.
1990 Donated to the National Museum.

General Sontar: He Speaks Sontar Listens

Are YOU Thinking What He's Thinking?*
*If you are not thinking what General Sontar is thinking then please report to Vat 69 for Genetic Reprocessing. Independent thought threatens the Sontaran race.
Typical! The Pandorica is barely closed and here comes the namby-pamby liberal non-Sontaran elite crawling out of the woodwork; again! “It’s cruel to imprison The Doctor in a box forever,” they moan. “There should have been another way,” they simper. Remind me, what was at stake here again? Oh yes, that’s right. Everything! Well, I don’t know about you but I happen to like living in the universe!

Why should we feel sorry for the Doctor? What sort of holiday camp prison are do-gooders expecting for someone who was going to blow up all of space? Do you care if there is no television, toilet or hypernet access? I don't. The Pandorica has air. It has something to sit on. Frankly I think we’ve been more than generous.

Four times! That's how often the Doctor has interfered in legitimate Sontaran actions across the galaxy. Four! And yet we're the ones being unreasonable. You couldn't make it up. "Don't forget the Doctor has also killed Rutans," the Politically Correct Czars demand I add in the name of balance. Killed Rutans? He blew up one spaceship! One, compared to the four times he has taken action against our bold boys defending legitimate Sontaran interests across the Galaxy. From where I'm standing that makes him a Rutan Lover! And that means I don’t love him at all!

So I say three cheers to the coalition that put this intergalactic menace where he deserves to be; in a box, forever. Three cheers for our brave Sontaran troops who will soon be attacking our so-called coalition allies while their guard is down. Three cheers for those keen sighted enough to see that nothing is more important than the future existence of everything we know, love, and deserve to conquer for the greater glory of the Sontaran race.

Funny, I thought I heard a noise outsi

Read General Sontar every week in The Sontaran Standard; although possibly not next week.

Is YOUR Neighbour A Dalek?

Ten Questions That Cut To The Chase1. Some leaves have fallen into your garden from your neighbours tree. You go round to complain. What do they do?
a) apologise and offer to sweep the leaves up.
b) slam the door in your face.
c) try and turn you into a Roboman.

2. The sewer in your street is blocked. When the council come round to investigate what do they find it is full of?
a) incorrectly disposed of foodstuff; rice, fat and tea leaves.
b) tree roots.
c) hideous mutant embryos, flushed into the sewers for not conforming to strict purity standards.

3. What do your neighbours listen to on the radio?
a) Radio One.
b) The Archers.
c) Dalek propaganda.

4. Your neighbour's cat has gone missing, how do they react?
a) put up posters.
b) get a new cat
c) trundle around the garden shrieking,”prisoner has escaped! I have failed! I have failed! Self destruct! I have failed - destruct! I have failed - destruct! Failed! Failed! Failed!” and then exploding.

5.What shape is your neighbour's body?
6. Your neighbour says they are going out to get a funky new look, do they come back with
a) a trendy perm like Paul Michael Glaser.
b) something from Marks and Spencer.
c) a brightly coloured, glossy paint job and a bigger, bulkier frame.

7. What does your neighbour drive?
a) a Ford Fiesta.
b) they don't have a car.
c) a giant flying saucer

8. What is your neighbour's idea of a good night out?
a) go down the pub
b) a trip to the cinema, and then out for a meal.
c) hanging around Canary Wharf fighting with Cybermen.

9.You are dancing with your neighbour at a party when your cardigan becomes wrapped around their head. How does your neighbour react, do they?
a) laugh it off and say accidents will happen.
b) ask you to be more careful.
c) start shrieking “my vision is impaired, I cannot see!” and blunder around crashing into the furniture before finally falling out of the window and exploding again.

10. What are your neighbour's etheric beam locators like?
a) unremarkable.
b) medium.
c) round, firm, and able to locate etheric beam emissions at a distance of up to 20,000 light years.

Scores:
A=1, B=2, C=3, D=You must have been filling in another quiz

Less than 10: Nothing to worry about here. Your neighbour is definitely not a Dalek.
10-20: Your neighbour is probably okay. You can sleep safe in your bed without worrying about being exterminated, or turned into a pig slave.
20-30: There is something fishy about your neighbour. He may not be a Dalek but for safety you may want to try completing another of our other quizes: Is Your Neighbour A Silurian, Is Your Neighbour Kroll, or Is Your Neighbour a Vashta Nerada.
30: Panic! Your neighbour is a Dalek. Evacuate the area immediately and notify the local anti-Dalek Force.
TOMORROW: Is Your Lodger A Time Lord?

I See Through You

Last week Shouting Into A Well gave you the first in a set of splendid Doctor Who Invisible Characters And Spaceships Trading Cards and showed you how to build a display stand for those cards as a fun family project (pictured above).

Your next two cards are shown below

There are seven cards to collect in all. Refusians from the story The Ark; Visians from The Daleks' Masterplan; Spiridons from Planet Of The Daleks; Xoanon's Projections from The Face Of Evil; Krafayis from Vincent And The Doctor; Skagra's invisible spaceship from Shada; and the Family's invisible spaceship from Family Of Blood.

Thanks to a cunning random generating algorithm no two people who view this page will get the same cards, so why not print them out and try trading cards with friends to see if you can complete the whole set.

(above) SWAP SHOP: In the Invisible City of Kitezh fans hold up duplicate Invisible Character Cards for exchange. In the background the invisible man, invisible woman and invisible dog form a pyramid as Sue Storm and the Martian Manhunter (J'onn J'onzz ) use their powers of invisibility while performing a daring high-wire act. To the left of the frame Predator uses his cloaking device while balancing on the top of James Bond's car from Die Another Day. Overhead Wonder Woman does barrel rolls in her invisible plane along with a cloaked Romulan Warbird. Not pictured, Hades wearing his helmet of invisiblity.

It's Reciprocal Links Friday!

Just like Apollo-Soyuz, or the fictional “Hands Across Space” mission between the United States and Soviet Union in the 1979 Quatermass serial*, Shouting Into A Well has joined forces with fanzine Venusian Spearmint. In it's latest issue Venusian Spearmint was good enough to print a plug for this blog and your big-hearted Shouting Into A Well publisher has agreed to cross-pollinate in return [sub:please check that last phrase].

Venusian Spearmint is an A4 fanzine that covers everything from Doctor Who, to Law And Order, to Neil's Heavy Concept Album, to Lost. Being edited by an American living in London the fanzine brings a different perspective to things that it's easy for UK viewers to take for granted, like not being able to see Genesis Of The Daleks as anything except a two and a half hour movie. In these twenty-four-hour-internet-only-retweeted-blog-days it's really good to see people continuing the proper printed fanzine traditions...

and it's free!

To get a copy simply drop an email to this address.
That's venusianspearmint at yahoo dot com (in your face spambots!)
For the full effect you'll need to print it out; obviously.

*hopefully not exactly like the Hands Across Space Mission, what with everyone concerned dying horribly when that mission is zapped by alien space-lightning.