Monday, August 31, 2009

It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To

Bank Holiday Fun with John Lumic

"Hello children everywhere! Uncle John here with some games for you to play this Bank Holiday."

British Bulldog: All the players line up on one side of a garden or field with a Cyberman in the middle. On the word go all the players run for the opposite side of the field. If the Cyberman catches someone they are upgraded and join the Cyberman in the middle. The game ends when everyone has been converted.

If it's raining then why not try these indoors games.

Musical Chairs
: First count how many players you have. In the middle of a room place a line of chairs that is one less than the number of players. Play some music, everyone must keep dancing round the line of chairs until the music stops when Cybermen burst in and upgrade everyone.

Bobbing for Apples: Fill a tub with water and float apples in it. The players must try to grab an apple with their mouths while a Cyberman roams the room upgrading the audience. Remember, using your hands or resisting upgrading is cheating!

Uncle John's Puzzle Maze

Can you join the orderly queue and march through the maze to the conversion chamber where you will become part of Uncle John's vision for the destiny of mankind?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Star Profile: The Vespiform

He's the bee's knees!

Name: Arnold Golightly.
Born: 1885, India.
Appeared in: The Unicorn and the Wasp (2008), as Himself.

Other roles:

(2009) That Mitchell and Webb Look, episode 4, as Hideous Giant Wasp.
(2007) Black Swarm, as Killer Wasp.
(1997) Anaconda, as Wasp
(1992) Frasier, as Delivery Man (2 episodes)
(1986) The Fly, as Wasp (scenes deleted).

Let Us Play

Being a weekly guide for children of all ages who wish to play games adapted from their favourite television programmes.

This week, BBC1's The Tripods. A game for three players.

The rules: The players sit on the ground bored and every now and again one of them says," you know I was sure something was going to happen this week."

Next week: Let Us Play Brimstone and Treacle.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Inevitable Disappointing Summer Replacement

In the tradition of television channels scheduling series in the summer death slot, while the audience is outside enjoying the good weather, Shouting into a well presents Space:1999.

The exciting titles for the second series of Space:1999 include a shot of Moonbase Commander John Koenig spinning round in his chair and opening fire with his laser gun. What could possibly have provoked such a furious reaction?

1. "Surprise!"
2. "I'm going to the coffee machine Commander, another espresso?"
3. "Raaaagh! I am the monster of the week!"
4. "Your agent called, how do you feel about doing series three?"
5. "Koenig is a shmuck"
6. "I've printed out a list from the internet that gives one hundred reasons why Captain Kirk is better than you."
7. "How come you're doing this series when you won an Emmy for Mission: Impossible?"
8. "Reaction test! Go!"
9. "Who wants to listen to CĂ©line Dion?"
10."How are the anger management classes going John?"

Monday, August 10, 2009

101 Uses For a Dead Ianto Jones*

[Numbers 1 to 10]

*Warning, possible spoiler for Ianto's death in Torchwood Children of Earth**

** Actually, that's probably a spoiler as well; sorry.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Those (Radio) Times

The evening schedule for 1st June 1953.


Due to an editing error last week the phrase," insert the sonic probe deep into the chest cavity until the required genetic material has been extracted" was added to Miss Foster's article The 10 DOs of Good Babysitting. It should in fact have been part of the feature Building Your Own Army of Evil by Davros. We apologise for any confusion this may have caused.

Erratum (above) should read Erata.

Erata (above) should read Errata.