Doctor Who News, News!

Split Season For 2011 Doctor Who

New Doctor Who producer Steven Moffat has announced that the 2011 series of Doctor Who will be split between the spring and autumn.

Fan speculation has concentrated on how the split will work. For example could the stories be divided into a block of seven episodes in the spring followed by six in the autumn? In fact, as Shouting Into A Well can exclusively reveal, the split is a literal one. There will be a standard 13 episode run in spring with the right side of the screen-blanked out -along with the audio for all events which happen there-, followed in autumn by a second block of 13 episodes which shows the opposite. The complete episodes will then be available to purchase on DVD.

How The Split Would Have Worked On Series 5

Rory and Amy gasp in surprise at something. What is it? You'll have to wait until autumn to find out.

It's the Doctor, confronted by himself from the future!

And how the scene will look recombined on DVD.

Moffat Promises “Gamechanging Cliffhanger”

New Producer Steven Moffat has also announced that next years' mid-series cliffhanger will be “gamechanging”.

As yet Shouting Into A Well has no information about the nature of this cliffhanger but here are ten possibilities.

1. River Song shoots the Doctor.
2. The Doctor shoots River Song.
3. Amy Pond shoots River Song and the Doctor with a single bullet
4. The Daleks shoot J.R.
5. River Song is the Rani
6. Amy Pond is the Rani
7. Amy Pond is River Song
8. Amy Pond is the Rani disguised as River Song
9. The Rani shoots the Doctor.
10. It was all a dream.

GAMECHANGING: An artist's impression of the 2011 mid-series cliffhanger. The Rani looks on with a sneer as Amy Pond and the Doctor hold each other at gunpoint.

Shouting Into A Well To Seek New Photoshop Artist

In unrelated news Shouting Into A Well is to search for a new Photoshop artist. No details have been announced of the events which led to the firing of the previous artist.

Newszzzzz

Eccleston's Bizarre Plot: More Details Revealed!

Today Shouting Into A Well reporters can expose more details of Christopher Eccleston's plot to regain the role of Doctor Who.

Yesterday we told you how Eccleston, in an attempt to return to the role he left in 2005, tried to convince the BBC that the year was 2006 and that he remained the actor playing the Doctor. The details of this plan involved:

- making new Doctor Who producer Steven Moffat believe he was Russell T. Davis by giving him a map of Britain on which Wales and Scotland had been swapped round.
- breaking into Upper Boat studios and replacing all the year planners, diaries and calendars with 2006 editions.
- secretly dying Karen Gillan's hair blonde to make her look like Billie Piper.
-crossing Matt Smith's telephone number out of the internal directory and writing his in its place.

It appears that this plan was at least partially successful, presumably contributing to new Doctor Who producer Steven Moffat's confusion over whether the 2010 series of Doctor Who was series one, five or thirty one.

At the time of publishing it remained unclear where new Doctor Who actor Matt Smith fitted into Eccleston's plans; that question has now been answered in a most grisly fashion. Our source, who wishes to remain anonymous, has provided us with a picture almost certainly drawn by Eccleston himself clearly showing the Boon and Casualty actor gloating above a pit containing a figure recognisable as Smith. We must warn our readers that this picture may not be suitable for those of a nervous disposition.

SHOCKING: Could Eccleston have been planning to eat Matt Smith?

TOMORROW: our source has promised us more remarkable revelations about Eccleston's plan, including revealing how the actor used techniques he learned while playing the role of invisible agent Claude in Heroes to move undetected around the Doctor Who set.

Freema Agyeman.
Owing to an unfortunate printing error last week's story "Freema's Shocking Spider Secret!" accidentally gave the impression that Freema Agyman was a giant woman-spider hybrid who lured young men back to her web and wrapped them in silk before gruesomely feasting on their innards. In addition a breakdown of communications between the Art and Editorial departments then led to the article being illustrated with a photo showing Freema's head pasted onto the body of the Empress Of Racnoss with the caption,"HORRIFIC: According to our source this image of Spider Freema may be the last thing that countless young men have seen."

Having received representation from Freema's Management and Legal teams Shouting Into A Well is happy to assure our readers that this is not the case and we are pleased to apologise for any confusion this unfortunate and unavoidable error may have caused.

In Other News

New Captain Kirk Sexual Harassment Case Rocks Starfleet.
Starfleet today was attempted to deal with the fallout from yet another sexual harassment case involving Captain James Kirk of the USS Enterprise.

Read more

Liz 10 to Charles "I don't care if you've been waiting 300 years. I'm the bloody Queen and you'll get the job when it's your turn." Read more




Exclusive! Karen Gillan Walks Down The Street On Her Legs And Wears Clothes! Read more

Merchandising News

Animal Magnetism has announced it is discontinuing its range of Doctor Who costumes.
Two costumes were issued for the first wave of releases Sisters of Plenitude: My Kitten Dress-Up Kit (from the episodes New Earth and Gridlock) which came with a whimple, thermometer and guide to training your kitten to take your temperature, pictured left, and Tritovore: My Fly Dress-Up Kit (Planet Of The Dead), pictured below actual size.
Sales of both costumes were lower than hoped but the final decision to cancel the range came after the company's headquarters was badly damaged while testing the next release Judoon: My Rhinoceros Dress-Up Kit (Smith and Jones, The Stolen Earth, and Sarah Jane Adventures: Prisoner Of The Judoon); several employees were also gored.

News Update

Back in April this year Shouting Into A Well asked if the Doctor was correct when he claimed that,” water always wins.” Results at the time gave water an actual victory rate of 81.81818% . With the broadcast of The Waters of Mars those results can now be reassessed.

Water does not score a clear victory in The Waters of Mars. It is undoubtedly on the way to winning when play is interrupted by Captain Adelaide Brooke's detonation of Bowie Base One. In the event the judging panel decided that this result was a draw bringing water's final victory rate down to 75%. With nine wins, two defeats and a draw water now goes on to meet Blackburn in the semi-final.

That Was The Year That Was

In all the excitement of last week's news (Character Options have had their license renewed!) there was no chance to look back at 2008. And what a year it was! Here's a reminder of some of the stories which made the headlines.

The Olympics 2012 committee hired David Tennant to light the Olympic flame at the start of the London games," in order to ensure that the London Olympics are cannon."

In the book T Is For Television, Russell T. Davies admits he doesn't remember the Apollo 11 Moon landing of July 20th 1969 on the grounds that," it probably wasn't as good as that week's Doctor Who!" His shameful ignorance of basic Who lore, namely that series 6 had finished broadcasting on 21st June 1969, immediately outs Davis as a fake Doctor Who fan and a red-faced Russell announces his resignation.

The Doctor Who Restoration Team revealed the success of the Colour Recovery Working Group who have pulled colour information from black and white film prints. Their next project? Turning lead into gold.

As the latest series of Doctor Who comes to an end Doctor Who magazine's latest issue has alternate covers. So does the Radio Times. Later in the year SFX also has multiple Doctor covers as does the British Medical Journal which is accused of "cashing in".

The Royal Shakespeare Company sets limits on what fans can bring to the stage door for David Tennant and Patrick Stewart to sign while they appear in Hamlet. Luckily no such restriction applies to other cast members and John Woodvine (The Marshall, The Armageddon factor), Zoe Thorne (Toclafane voice, The Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords. Gelth voice, The Unquiet Dead), Roderick Smith (Cruikshank, The Invisible Enemy) and Andrea Harris (Suzanne, The Stolen Earth) are nearly buried under piles of tat.

Let's play the Regeneration Game*

Every other Doctor Who blog on the internet has something about David Tennant leaving and Shouting Into a Well just wants to be popular.

To while away the time before the new Doctor is announced (and to stop you grinding your teeth to stumps at the endless headlines and newspaper stories speculating on which flavour of the month celebrity will be cast; Russell Brand/Kerry Katona/Daniel Craig/Daniel Radcliffe) here's a puzzle.


Plus, here's how generic newspaper cartoonist K*pp*r W*ll**ms might have interpreted the news with his satyrical eye.




*alternate titles include: Who goes, there/I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry/Journey's End

Stock Photography

Illustrating Doctor Who news stories with pictures from the financial markets.





September 2003: Doctor Who to return to BBC1







March 2005: Christopher Eccleston is resigning as the Doctor after just one series





October 2005: Doctor Who spin-off series Torchwood will see the return of Captain Jack Harkness







October 2006: First series of Torchwood broadcast







July 2007: Catherine Tate announced as new companion for fourth series






July 2008: Series 4 finale, Journey's End, is the UK's most watched programme of the week