DVD News

As A New Trailer Is Added To The Twin Dilemma DVD We Have Shocking Evidence That The Start-up Sequence On Doctor Who Discs Is Now Too Long*


You: The Jury

We asked," Do you find the DVD start-up sequence too long on Doctor Who Discs?"

"I find they go past really quickly," Methuselah.
"Much, much too long," A. Mayfly.
"More boring than my day job," Sisyphus, Hades.
"Tedious, over-long, boring and... sorry I thought we were talking about The Twin Dilemma!!" Mike Giggler, via email.

*rather like this headline

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With your host, the Beast

Dear The Beast,

After many years together my partner has recently begun turning into some sort of giant scorpion and is trying to suck out my vital juices in an effort to stay young. Please reply quickly as the situation is becoming urgent.

Lady T
London

THE BEAST SAYS," You will die; and I shall live."

Please send your letters to
"The Beast - The King of Despair, The Deathless Prince, The Bringer of the Night,He Who Bathes in the Black Sun, The Sin,The Temptation, The Deceiver, The Pain, The Loss, The Death of Hope, Fury, Rage, Death, The Darkness, The Vile, The Ferocity, The Price, The Fool, The Agony, The Fear, The Vanity, The Obsession, The Lust, The Urge to Jump, The Urge to Fall.
PO BOX 921
London

The Beast regrets that he is unable to enter into individual correspondence due to being chained in a pit for all eternity.

In Other News

Graph raises fan's concern that by 2014 unskippable Doctor Who DVD introductions and copyright information will last over two minutes.

Fans Unable to Wait Until 2010 Start Matt Smith Animation Project

In the absence of a new series of Doctor Who desperate fans have developed a plan to animate eleventh Doctor Matt Smith's stories before they are broadcast. The project was inspired by the animation of two missing episodes from the 1968 Doctor Who story The Invasion which was released on DVD in 2006.
" We just can't wait," said one of the fans involved who wished to remain anonymous," yes there are the other David Tennant specials to come but that's not enough when you're used to thirteen episodes a year."
So far the animators only have a few rough designs based on publicity photos but they are confident that the pace will increase as more details of the new series leak out.
" We'll fill in the blanks later. The script we've got so far is called The Something of Something. The Eleventh Doctor arrives on a planet in the TARDIS and lots of exciting things happen which the Doctor resolves in forty five minutes, unless it's a two parter in which case there will be a cliffhanger. We don't know who the companion is, or what she will look like, but we are confident that she will be involved in the thick of things and go on an emotional rollercoaster of a journey," our fan source added.

Who’s that baby!

You may think you know who's who but this puzzle is sure to have you scratching your head. Simply identify the famous Doctor Who character from a picture of them when they were younger. No prizes, this is just for fun and the answers are below.

1. Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more and don't you come back no more. This is one Jack that does come back, all the time but who does that young man turn out to be in the future, or is it the past?



2. Who's this purrfect kiddie? She may be fluffy but watch out she's no novice! This kitten's got claws! Yeow!






3. This cute little egg may have a soft centre but she's pretty hard boiled on the outside, we’re willing to bet she’ll be hatching up some new mischief soon. Eggsellent! Life's always a gas when she's around.




4. Stone me! This little chap looks like a real Rock-er. He's a fan of classical tunes as well but prefers Elgar's Pomp(eii) and Circumstance to Handel's Water Music any day.




5. It's not the end of the world, at least not if this person shows you how to get a--head! He looks good now but when he gets to be five billion years old we bet he'll be making use of the bo-tox! What vanity, he's a real big head.



6. Feeling blue? What the Dickens for? Life's a gas again when this fellow's around! Watch out though girls, we think this one's only after your body.





7. Ahh, look at Daddy's little soldier. She may be little now but when she's grown up she'll be breaking hearts; two of them! In this Eden to be she's the apple of her father's eye, but who is her father; or should that be, Who is her father.




8. Who's who? Can this grumpy old man really grow up into a perfect ten? Can you get the answer? Don't hang around we're on ten-derhooks with ten-sion!






DVD News
This exclusive shot from the forthcoming Planet of the Dead DVD shows a deleted scene in which the Doctor encounters a missing World War II ENSA party who fell through the same wormhole some sixty five years earlier.
Thanks to correspondent Gil E Freyan for the DVD screengrab.

Is that Pun Loaded?

While the documentaries on the Doctor Who DVDs are very good their titles can be a bit variable. Getting a Head on the Brain of Morbius is great and Hello Sailor!, on the Sea Devils cannot be topped but Dreams and Fantasy on the Invisible Enemy? The Making of Mindwarp? In fact all the documentary titles on The Trial of a Timelord set are a bit lackluster.

Here's some they should have used.

The Leisure Hive- Romana Holiday. It would probably have worked on City of Death as well but that had Paris in the Springtime which is okay, if not actually a pun.
The Seeds of Death- A T-Mat of Life and Death.
The Web Planet- Isop's Fables.
Timelash- The Good, the Borad, and the Ugly. The DVD went for The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, so near and yet so far. Never Mind the Morlox would have worked as well but see The Space Museum below.
The Invisible Enemy- SaturnDay Night Fever. Anything with Saturday in the title would have worked SaturnDay Night's Alright (For Fighting the Nucleus of the Swarm); see. SaturnDay Night and Sunday Morning; well maybe not that one.

And there's still time to use these (except maybe The Keys of Marinus, unless they go for a costly recall to edit in a new documentary title).

The Space Museum- Never Mind the Moroks. There's still time to use this one guys.
The Keys of Marinus- Voord Do You Think You Are. How much do DVD recalls cost anyway?
Dragonfire- Citizen Kane. Boring but obvious what with all the film references in the script.
Planet of Fire- Sarn Like it Hot. Or, Being in Lava Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry because of the volcano.
Time and the Rani: Tetrap a Thief . Tetrap sounds a bit like To Trap... yes it's weak but this is harder than you'd think. If only the story had two Ranis instead of two Mels. If there had been three Mels you could use Melnage a Trois which sounds a bit rude.
Terror of the Autons- Auton Erotic Asphyxiation which sounds extremely rude.

Finally, here are some that can never be used unless the episode is found.

Galaxy 4- Ammonia Rill in a Gilded Cage. Drahvin Miss Maaga. The Rills Are Alive. Or, Galaxy Phwoar! because the Drahvins are all women (perhaps not).

Boooooooom!

This Bonfire Night remember the fireworks code; with the Knights from the Battlefield DVD cover.



Light sparklers one at a time and wear gloves.
Light sparklers with a taper.
Hold sparklers at a safe distance.
Do not run or wave sparklers near other people.
Never give sparklers to a child under five or the Destroyer.