Your Letters Answered On The Internet's Liveliest Problem Page

With your host, the Beast

Dear The Beast,

After many years together my partner has recently begun turning into some sort of giant scorpion and is trying to suck out my vital juices in an effort to stay young. Please reply quickly as the situation is becoming urgent.

Lady T
London

THE BEAST SAYS," You will die; and I shall live."

Please send your letters to
"The Beast - The King of Despair, The Deathless Prince, The Bringer of the Night,He Who Bathes in the Black Sun, The Sin,The Temptation, The Deceiver, The Pain, The Loss, The Death of Hope, Fury, Rage, Death, The Darkness, The Vile, The Ferocity, The Price, The Fool, The Agony, The Fear, The Vanity, The Obsession, The Lust, The Urge to Jump, The Urge to Fall.
PO BOX 921
London

The Beast regrets that he is unable to enter into individual correspondence due to being chained in a pit for all eternity.

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